The Carpet Stain AdventuresPosted November 27 2012
Cleaning difficult areas and being part of messy situations is an everyday occurrence for me. Cleaning is not a very alluring occupation, although it does have its moments of interesting circumstances and challenging situations. Some are funny, some are serious and some end sadly – nonetheless cleaning is what I do, and I am here to prove that the occupation can in fact be glamorous.
Towards the end of November my emergency pager went off about 5:00 in the afternoon. Being the professional that I am, I was out through the door and in my car in a matter of minutes. An emergency is an emergency. Everyone loves a man in uniform, and my situation is not different. When I pulled up to the residence in question, I had an extremely attractive and very distraught housewife waiting for me on the driveway with runny makeup, jumbled hair and a chaotic demeanor. I hate to bring up this professional thing, but my presence, uniform and calm appearance put me in immediate control of the situation. Between sobs the lady of the house finally verbalized the problem. She was getting ready for a very significant dinner party, when a number of things happened. First the cat jumped on the coffee table and knocked her coffee over and secondly the lady hit the glass of red wine on the side table while trying to chase the poor cat out of the house. Why she was drinking coffee and wine at the same time I do not know – but I am professional and will mind my own business. We proceeded to examine the scene of the accident and this is when the ultimate disaster happened. This time it was my fault, as I stepped into mud and promptly walked on the carpet in the living room while approaching the scene of the previous two accidents. Now the situation was completely desperate! We had red wine stain, we had coffee stain, we had very ugly mud stains on very white carpeting and of course we had a desperate and very attractive lady who would do anything to time travel and set the clock back a few hours. I am still puzzled though why the lady was having wine and coffee at the same time? But I am professional and shall not ask questions.
I immediate took control of the situation and cleared the area of untrained civilians. Of course we all heard of basic home remedies for removing red wine stain, coffee stain, mud stain and even ink from carpeting. We all heard of baking soda, and seltzer water and white wine, scissors and blow torches. We all heard of people replacing their carpeting in desperation but I am a professional, I am Clean It Man garbed in a wonderful uniform. I also have a bag of tricks at my disposal. A bag of tricks built with years of research, trial, failure and success. I put success last, as to be truthful; my jobs do end with success every time! Luckily I do carry a good supply of Great Scott carpet stain remover from Envyss. Great Scott easily and instantly removes coffee, tea, wine, grease, oil, blood, dirt, soil, iodine, betadine, and most any difficult stain from your carpets. So I did what professionals do – simply applied, agitated and blotted the stains. Stains instantly disappeared! And there were no odors and no toxic so the cat is safe for the time being.
Once again Clean It Man prevailed! I was greeted with a big smile and something about my hero. I even felt bad taking her money, as she was after all attractive and a damsel in distress. Also, my costs were minimal as Envyss products are not only Earth friendly but are also cost effective. Nonetheless I did take her payment after all, as I was still puzzled as to why she was drinking coffee and wine at the same time. But I am a professional, I am Clean It Man.